Susanah's Story
Until recently, I think I largely regarded my family as little more than a backdrop for my life. In the last couple of years, it has taken on much more dimension. When I think about my family now, I see that if we are flowers, we are also each other’s gardeners. We grow each other and have been grown by one another.
Family is our greatest opportunity to practice and experience unconditional love. Family is my most profound and indelible connection to human existence. Family is that from which I derive and to which I bestow. I am not me without my family. We are of each other and therefore, always by each other. Family is my harbor.
It turns out that Mommy and Daddy’s rearrangement was indeed an ending, but one that made way for a new beginning that has turned out to be much brighter than I think any of us could have imagined while taking those first tender steps. Whereas before we were all more inclined to be a bit callous with each other, with this change in Mommy and Daddy’s relationship, I have felt a tremendous shift within the whole family. Something has softened within us. Somehow we’ve been able to shrug off layers of defensiveness and self-preservation to become more tuned in to each other. We are more sensitive, more careful, more perceptive and receptive, more adoring of one another;we treasure each other for the precious family that we are. And we are tickled with wonder at who these individuals are that we’ve had within us all along. Something has been freed. And we are more robust.
I think what my parents are doing is the greatest gift they can give to our family. In doing something for themselves and for each other, they are doing something for all of us. The love and happiness they foster in their relationship permeates the rest of our family. Perhaps more than anything, they are modeling for us how we can and must shape our own lives in the best way we are able. They are demonstrating to us what is important—and at the same time they are showing us that in determining what’s important, convention should not be an impediment. They are creating the space and providing the impetus for us to grow, both as individuals and together, as a family.
Rather than walking away and scrapping what we had, we are building onto what we’ve already got. This is a tough lesson we have been handed, something very tempting to decline, but in choosing to stay and learn it we are also reaping untold rewards.
Family is our greatest opportunity to practice and experience unconditional love. Family is my most profound and indelible connection to human existence. Family is that from which I derive and to which I bestow. I am not me without my family. We are of each other and therefore, always by each other. Family is my harbor.
It turns out that Mommy and Daddy’s rearrangement was indeed an ending, but one that made way for a new beginning that has turned out to be much brighter than I think any of us could have imagined while taking those first tender steps. Whereas before we were all more inclined to be a bit callous with each other, with this change in Mommy and Daddy’s relationship, I have felt a tremendous shift within the whole family. Something has softened within us. Somehow we’ve been able to shrug off layers of defensiveness and self-preservation to become more tuned in to each other. We are more sensitive, more careful, more perceptive and receptive, more adoring of one another;we treasure each other for the precious family that we are. And we are tickled with wonder at who these individuals are that we’ve had within us all along. Something has been freed. And we are more robust.
I think what my parents are doing is the greatest gift they can give to our family. In doing something for themselves and for each other, they are doing something for all of us. The love and happiness they foster in their relationship permeates the rest of our family. Perhaps more than anything, they are modeling for us how we can and must shape our own lives in the best way we are able. They are demonstrating to us what is important—and at the same time they are showing us that in determining what’s important, convention should not be an impediment. They are creating the space and providing the impetus for us to grow, both as individuals and together, as a family.
Rather than walking away and scrapping what we had, we are building onto what we’ve already got. This is a tough lesson we have been handed, something very tempting to decline, but in choosing to stay and learn it we are also reaping untold rewards.
