Preface: A Marriage Proposal
Once upon a time, an idealistic, hopelessly romantic young woman met the dashing man of her dreams. He swept her off her feet in a whirlwind courtship and they were soon engaged. The happy couple exchanged their vows in a candlelit chapel surrounded by family and friends. Their storybook wedding held all the promise of a lifetime of love and devotion.
And then they woke up.
The life that they awoke to was not the stuff of fairytales (although there was a stepmother involved…). It had turned into a difficult journey of opposing needs, competing desires, and toxic bitterness. But wait! This story doesn’t end there. After years of matrimonial discord, they did, in fact, find a way to live happily ever after… by living separately.
You hold in your hands the story of how my marriage took me from a fairytale courtship to the depths of despair, and how I found a way to rescue myself and my family by reimagining and redefining my marriage. After twenty-three years of struggle, my husband and I agreed that we could no longer live together. But underneath all the pain and disappointment, we realized that we still loved each other and wanted to find a way to renew our relationship.
And so began our journey towards a healthier, happier life for ourselves and our family. Here you will find my own account of this journey, as well as chapters written by my husband and our three daughters. More than a memoir, this book ponders the institution of marriage, our social expectations of it, and its altered function in today’s complex world. Last but not least, this is a self-help guide, designed to assist you in finding ways to apply what I’ve learned to your own situation.
Since writing this book, I’ve encountered so many people who are at a crisis point in their marriage. I see their pain, their desperation, and I know how it feels; I was there. Nearly all of them have proceeded toward divorce because they didn’t know what else to do. I want to help change that.
Whether you’ve been married for years, are just starting out, or are aiming to avoid the rocky path other relationships have taken, this book is for you. I offer it in the hope that among these pages you will find the inspiration to look at your union and your future with new eyes. Perhaps in reading our story, you will find the means to heal your relationship and get your life and happiness back on track. After all, you too deserve to live happily ever after!
And then they woke up.
The life that they awoke to was not the stuff of fairytales (although there was a stepmother involved…). It had turned into a difficult journey of opposing needs, competing desires, and toxic bitterness. But wait! This story doesn’t end there. After years of matrimonial discord, they did, in fact, find a way to live happily ever after… by living separately.
You hold in your hands the story of how my marriage took me from a fairytale courtship to the depths of despair, and how I found a way to rescue myself and my family by reimagining and redefining my marriage. After twenty-three years of struggle, my husband and I agreed that we could no longer live together. But underneath all the pain and disappointment, we realized that we still loved each other and wanted to find a way to renew our relationship.
And so began our journey towards a healthier, happier life for ourselves and our family. Here you will find my own account of this journey, as well as chapters written by my husband and our three daughters. More than a memoir, this book ponders the institution of marriage, our social expectations of it, and its altered function in today’s complex world. Last but not least, this is a self-help guide, designed to assist you in finding ways to apply what I’ve learned to your own situation.
Since writing this book, I’ve encountered so many people who are at a crisis point in their marriage. I see their pain, their desperation, and I know how it feels; I was there. Nearly all of them have proceeded toward divorce because they didn’t know what else to do. I want to help change that.
Whether you’ve been married for years, are just starting out, or are aiming to avoid the rocky path other relationships have taken, this book is for you. I offer it in the hope that among these pages you will find the inspiration to look at your union and your future with new eyes. Perhaps in reading our story, you will find the means to heal your relationship and get your life and happiness back on track. After all, you too deserve to live happily ever after!
